Tuesday, January 22, 2013

New Year’s … (cringe) … resolutions.


It’s that time. Even if you’re not typically the type of person who is into resolutions, there is something about a new year that causes us to reflect on the last one, and plan the next.
And hey- plans are good.

Thing is…. having a plan or goals is one thing, but making them happen is something different altogether. Planning is important, but how many of us have painstakingly laid out a course to meet our dreams, (or just a course to get through the day without forgetting to pick up the milk…) and not followed through?
In my experience with people, I think it’s safe to say the answer to that is: all of us.
“Follow through.” We hear the term at work, raising kids, within friendships and with our spouses- we expect it privately from ourselves, and get frustrated when it’s lacking. But what determines our likelihood to follow through? What is it that affects our potential in any given situation?
We each carry beliefs about our potential- our personal ability to do something, as well as how outside conditions will affect an outcome. Every time we try something new, we already hold a belief about whether we will be good at it, or how likely we are to succeed. The problem with this is that most people have limiting beliefs- meaning they do not recognize their own greater potential. Due to past performance, or what they’ve been told, most people hold internal beliefs about what their abilities are, that are far below their actual ability. The tricky thing is- this belief will affect the outcome of any attempt. Negative belief- negative outcome. And it gets worse—the negative outcome, (caused by the limiting belief) REINFORCES the original belief! (did you catch that? --read it again.) Yikes…vicious cycle.
So what’s the good news? This process also works in reverse. This is why some people seem to excel naturally- taking on lofty goals, and meeting them….constantly growing. (Think Steve Jobs and the Apple empire.)This is because they are certain that they will succeed- so they do. The things we are certain of, we will continue to do well.
Let me give you a more manageable example. This morning I made delicious apple pancakes. I happen to be an excellent pancake maker, getting the slightly browned and crispy edges perfect every time…even my apple pieces come out evenly spaced making each bite deliciously balanced. When I set out to make them this morning, I knew they would be delicious-  and when they were, I quietly congratulated myself on what an amazingly well equipped human being I am. I guarantee you that the next time I make apple pancakes, they will be just as good. ; ) You see- my interpretation of the process, and my belief about my success makes all the difference! I believe that I am skilled at timing my pancake cooking, I know that I will use my tools and ingredients with ease, and therefore, that my outcome will be positive. 
All right, this is a goofy example, but it gets the point across, no? 

Those folks who seem to “simply excel” in business, or at work or at living a healthy lifestyle, hold the belief that it is not only possible, or even probable that they will succeed- it’s certain. They believe in their ability to use the tools and knowledge that they possess to navigate in a world where things are possible.
Of course, there are always natural talents. Some mathematicians or musicians are simply born- good for them! (and us!)…. That may not be us--- but most of us can learn trigonometry or learn to play the violin—very well in fact! 
WE ALL HAVE UNTAPPED POTENTIAL. Many times in the areas of our lives we want to change the most, all it comes down to is tapping into that potential.
Those of us who can recognize that there is room for growth and improvement will be able to more easily access our own skills and perform at a greater level, and more readily make lasting change. This goes for following through on even the largest goals. In fact, this simple premise will help us to create any life we choose. We can use it to help us follow through on the things in life we want to give our attention to. 

So.....my resolution? To apply my belief in myself....to KNOW that this year, I will grow and become the best version of me that I can be!