Friendship Bracelet GIVEAWAY!!!

Don't you just LOVE winning things?? 

Well, today you have the opportunity to jump in on a great giveaway from the Compeer Buffalo blog. Jewelry anyone?? 

We are giving away this bracelet design created in our Compeer Shared Profits Artisans (SPA) group!  Winning is easy- see the giveaway entry rules below. 

Giveaway bracelet!

The bracelet being given away this week was made by me, but many other designs made by the members of our Shared Profits Artisans group are available for purchase as well. Call Compeer at 716-883-3331 for more details!
                (ask for Jennifer)

WHAT IS A “SPA” GROUP?

Compeer’s SPA group is made up of Compeer friends and volunteers interested in being a part of a cooperative craft-producing environment.  Group members engage in open and supportive social interaction while working toward completing a production goal.  Whether making jewelry, sewing therapeutic eye pillows, or sharing artistic or creative writing skills, individuals engage in the group production of a completed product. Through their work, members develop skills transferrable to support success in the community, as well as develop a social sense of belonging and camaraderie with their peers. All donations received in return for our bracelets are put toward purchasing supplies for future groups-- we are self-sustaining! 

IS THIS THERAPEUTIC?

The simple answer is YES. It has been long understood in the fields of psychology, occupational therapy, art therapy, and neurology that group work benefits both the physical and mental health of participants. Compeer matches are based on the fact that friendship and social interaction is healing in and of itself. Our SPA groups blend these theories in an effort to bring motivation, validation, social support and a sense of purpose to the lives of its members in a sustainable way.

GIVEAWAY ENTRY RULES: 

Winning is easy!

Step 1: "Like" Compeer of Greater Buffalo on Facebook.  Compeer of Greater Buffalo, Inc.Non-Profit Organization521 like this

Step 2: Follow this blog using the 'join this site' button in the upper right column. It's important you join, so that we can contact you if you are our winner! 

Step 3: Leave a comment on this post about one of your favorite friendship moments! Could be something nice a friend did for you or a special day shared with a friend-- get creative!! (be sure you don't post anonymously-- you must use your google friend account, or I won't be able to contact you if you win!)

A winner will be picked at random from the comments section next week Thursday, February 2nd. You will be notified by email if you are the lucky winner!!  (Unfortunately, we can only ship to the US and Canada, so international readers can't participate in this giveaway....my apologies to our world-readers!)

Good Luck Friends!!!

-Jennifer

UPDATE: WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!

The names of those who entered were placed into RANDOM.ORG, which (randomly!) selected our winner............

The winner is..........Stephanie!!!  

Congratulations, and thanks to all those who entered! 

Adding 'purpose' to every day.....

Lately, I've been really hung up on the idea of a sense of 'purpose' as a guide for everyday life....

It's not a new idea for me, and actually, I think that this concept led me to work in the 'helping' professions to begin with.....

Even when I was little, something inside of me always pushed me toward what it was that I was 'meant' to be doing. I knew that there were certain times when I felt the most confident, the most sure, and the most at peace. These times almost always were when I was engaged in something creative, and usually also involved helping others. It seems that I knew even then that these factors were in tune with my purpose, but as a child I certainly didn't have the words to say that, or even the awareness to think it........Back then, I just knew what felt right. And back then, I wasn't held back by the roles that society tends to impose upon us as we grow.
I knew I liked to draw, so I did...I knew I liked to cheer people up-- so most of the time I would give my drawings away, and get a smile. It was intuitive, it was easy, and I felt good about it.

So what changes?  As adults, so many factors come into play as we decide how to spend our time, and where to focus our energy. We may have work obligations, a family to raise or older parents to care for, a home or apartment to maintain. (Bills to pay!) These are all real concerns that, most times, we cannot do much to change.

There are however, many things that keep us from our purpose driven ideas that we can get around. The biggest obstacle most people have to face when deciding to be true to themselves and their desires is the fear of disapproval from others.
For me, this could look like, "I love to paint, but I have so much to do around the house--- I would look irresponsible if I left the dishes in the sink while I paint a picture."
The fact is, a couple of dishes in the sink are not likely to affect me in any way-- washed or unwashed. If I spend my time on the dishes, I will be no more energized than if I don't. If I leave them there,  I will be no worse off.....the task has no meaning to me.
On the other hand, if I take twenty minutes to paint- I know that I will feel excited by the creativity, and energized by the sense of accomplishment. I also know that when I am excited and energized-- I get more done!! (including dishes-  bonus!)
The point here is, if we let all of our daily activities become those we feel obligated to do....the outcome will always be less than what a day with purpose could bring.


Nine times out of ten, what we think others are thinking of us is not even true. Let's get back to what moves us-- let's get back to PURPOSE.


THE BASIC TECHNIQUE
The filter technique below allows you to identify your purpose by bypassing the conditioned thought associations relating to ‘permission’ and ‘disapproval.’ It's broad enough to help you make big choices, like job moves, or small ones like how to spend a Saturday afternoon-- with YOU in mind!! :

1.		Identify what you like about yourself.
2.		Identify how you most like spending your time.
3.		Imagine your idea of a perfect world.

Your purpose is what links these three things together. In other words, it is the way you can use your favorite characteristics, abilities and attributes in activities you like best, to manifest your vision of a perfect world. Don’t be deceived by the simplicity of this technique.   -exerpt from Anxiety Culture, how to find your own purpose.


So here's what I got when I tried this:

1. I like that I am artistic and creative.
2. I like spending my time with friends and working on projects.
3. My idea of a perfect world is one where people can accept each other and work together.

One way to link these things together for me is: Providing a creative group project open to all of my friends..... like the Compeer Care and Share Jewelry group. You can check your Compeer newsletter for more info on the group, but basically, in this setting I get to be artistic and creative....I get to spend time with friends working on a project....and we can all accept one another and work together. This ties in all of the three things I identified- so cool!

Try the technique above and feel free to share one of your purpose-driven ideas in the comments section!

Winter......it's still here.

Brrrrr.........it's cold. And we're expecting snow. What's new?

It's been mildly entertaining watching the rest of the country deal with the storm that hit (though I realize it's no fun for them!).....and even more entertaining to hear all the Buffalonians brag about how well-equipped we are to deal with it.
Well, friends, I'm not feeling equipped.
I don't like snow unless I'm snowboarding on it. I don't find being cold very pleasant either-- it makes it harder to get out of bed. And the shower.

But here's the deal-- we have winter in Buffalo. We get snow. It gets cold, dark and windy.......
And right about now, all over our dark, snowy, windy city, the winter blues are in full effect for many of us.
Most of us have heard of the winter blues, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I often hear it joked about on the radio, or hear it brought up casually in groups of friends. It makes sense that when we are kept from being more active, and need to stay indoors away from the sun that we will inevitably get down, or feel moody. So, seasonal affective disorder is easy to identify with-- and to casually speak about.  But, here you run the risk of minimizing a legitimate, sometimes disabling, condition.

I want to take a look at what it is that defines SAD versus just having a case of cabin fever, or dealing with the 'winter blues.'  It is very important for those if us who are dealing with a deeper depression, or who may have friends or family going through this, to understand more fully what can be done to alleviate symptoms and get us on a track to wellness.
Mayoclinic.com cites these as symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder:

   "* Depression (intense and prolonged sadness)
    * Hopelessness
    * Anxiety
    * Loss of energy
    * Social withdrawal
    * Oversleeping
    * Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed
    * Appetite changes, especially a craving for foods high in carbohydrates
    * Weight gain
    * Difficulty concentrating and processing information "mayoclinic.com

What makes these symptoms different than those of a clinical depression is that "Seasonal affective disorder is a cyclic, seasonal condition. This means that signs and symptoms come back and go away at the same time every year. Usually, seasonal affective disorder symptoms appear during late fall or early winter and go away during the sunnier days of spring and summer." Mayoclinic.com

Does this sound like you? If so, don't just brush it off as something you 'have to get through. The above symptoms are much more than a bad day or a bad mood. We must recognize when we need to step up to take better care of ourselves, or we can be set up for a bigger problem in the end.

If you are struggling with your day to day activities, then your problem with seasonal depression may be more real than you think. It's time to reach out for some help.


For those of us who are struggling to a lesser degree, here are some suggestions to help us get a jump start on those happier springtime days!!

Set goals: even one goal a day-- like, "go through the mail to find bills."  will feel great to accomplish.
Sleep: Make sure that you're not sleeping too much or too little. Use an alarm clock or nap!!
Exercise: just taking the stairs, parking farther from your destination, or walking a block to the next bus stop can make a big difference.
Forgiveness: staying upset takes a lot of energy-- finding forgiveness for whoever, or whatever it is you find you're angry about frees up your energy for things more focused on wellness.

Gratitude: I'm a big fan of the gratitude list-- writing five things down per day that you are thankful for. It will change your brain chemistry- and your attitude!
Sunlight: it may not seem to be there-- but it is! UV rays can get through the clouds, so get out there!! 
Hydration: it's highly likely you are not getting the amount of water your body need each day. Drink more water!
Friendships: Lean on your support system- call your Compeer!Everyone wants to be heard, appreciated, and loved. Start off by listening, appreciating and loving, and it will come back your way.

Let's hear about how you get through the winter months.....is it a struggle? How have you been able to keep going? 

-Jennifer 

The morning......what's good about it??

In answer to the title of this post, I was inclined to write (in all caps- indicating my scream):  "NOTHING!!!"
But that's not exactly going to get this post moving in the positive direction I'm aiming it in......
Ahem....folks, I am NOT a morning person.
I am very much the girl who sets the alarm and falls asleep with the best intention to hear it in the morning-- and spring up and out of bed in rise-and-shine glory to greet the birds and the sunshine and welcome a glorious new day.....(insert singing princesses here.)

Wait. Rewind. I did say intention.

When my alarm goes off, it's still dark and even the birds aren't up. (They know that it's surely not time yet.....)  And I don't even roll over- much less spring up and out of bed. I just smack at my buzzing phone until it goes quiet for 9 more minutes. And I do that about 6 times before finally stumbling to the bathroom feeling around for the light switch, grumbling at myself for not allowing more time to get ready.
This has got to stop......

I know that there are wonderful things about the morning-- small things to be found and cherished, and I am determined to figure out what they are and to include them in my routine.
(There's a concept! ROUTINE!!!)

But........how?
Ahhh....trustly old Google.
Here are just a few ideas that I found and will start to use:

• Go to sleep with the curtains open or blinds up so that the light will naturally help you awaken in the morning. (this won't work in winter for us early-risers, but I still think it's a good one)
• Get up earlier.  HA! ha ha........No really. I think that there is something to be said for this one. I have tried, and failed at this. I set the alarm earlier- but that just means I hit snooze a few more times. In my mind, I have a time that I know I need to be up by, in order to get everyone in my family where they need to go for the day. But getting up to allow the minimum time it takes creates a sense of urgency and doesn't allow for things like feeling the water on my back in the shower for a few more minutes, or even for sitting down while having my cup of coffee. Getting up just one half hour earlier will help the morning feel more relaxed.  It allows for small extras, like reading an interesting article,  or gazing at the neighborhood for a few minutes out the window. Getting up earlier helps us experience the morning rather than rush through it.
• Go to bed earlier. (What? There already isn't enough time in the day to get things done!!)  Yes, going to bed earlier may take a bit of time from your day, but remember, we just added some time to the morning! Going to bed sooner will help us get up in the morning. Plus, when we have the amount of sleep we really need, our energy will be higher all day long, and can help us do more and feel better. Going to bed earlier may help you be more productive.
• Eliminate decisions. I for one, love this idea.  I'm good for nothing in the morning. I'm lucky to match my socks, and I never feel like making breakfast, so often I skip it. (I know--not a good choice) So having things set up the night before is pretty genius. We've heard it before. My mom has probably said it a million times in my lifetime, and I'm going to say it again. Get ready the night before. Choose your outfit, plan breakfast and your coffee or tea, have your towel and hygiene supplies ready to go. This way the morning can fall into place with less effort. (And you won't realize that you're out of milk after you've already poured the cereal.)
• Add music. Music helps to promote thinking and creativity. Listening to what you enjoy at the start can ground you and prepare you for a positive day. Queue Bedouin Soundclash: "heeeyy heyy-ey eyyy! A beauuuuuutiful day!" (you're lucky you can't hear me singing this right now. Great morning song though!)
• Eat breakfast. First of all, breakfast is delicious. That's enough for me. But studies show that eating a healthy breakfast improves mood through out the day, allows for higher levels of thinking, and ironically, keeps our weight down. Check out some healthy breakfast ideas on the internet-- your morning meal should be one that is not only healthy, but enjoyable and a positive start to your day.

OK, now that I plan to embrace this 'morning' thing with a better attitude, let's answer the title question again.......

What's good about morning? 
The start of a new day.
The opportunity to be the best person I can be today.
The gift of life wrapped up and given all over again.....

What's good about  your morning?

-Jennifer

Can you SMELL it?

No, not that lingering, mysterious stank that won't leave the back seat of my car......it's AUTUMN!!!

I know, I know.....I'm early. For goodness sake, we have plenty of summer left.....there's still Wing Fest this weekend, outdoor picnics to attend, evening walks to sweat through.....

But I know you smelled it--- last week, when it cooled down.....Autumn made a guest appearance, and I CAN'T WAIT for the full-time debut!!!
I was chatting with co-worker Krystina yesterday, and we couldn't help but scroll through our fall-time faves......hot apple cider, oversized sweaters, pumpkins on porches, school buses and kids with backpacks, crunching leaves underfoot....... runny noses too, but let's stay positive.

I love fall. I lurrrrve it!!! It's less sweaty, more cuddly, and just plain smells good.
But all this day dreaming about the change of season has me thinking.

What in the world happened to summer of 2010?? For reals. Where did it go?

And has any one else noticed that as you get older, time seems to go more quickly......??
So my mind moves from the excitement of fall to the lament of a lost summer in t-minus 3...2....1....

Let's face it-- life has gotten, well,  fast for many of us- we get caught up in the rush of work, family, housekeeping, schedule juggling......
For others of us, it's an opposite struggle-- we can feel left out of the rush, watching friends, neighbors and family members rushing about, too busy to remember that we need them- we need to connect.  We're here.

Looking back at summer, I know it was full of activity- my kids keep me running from one thing to the next, and once you throw in work, and a home to care for, I can forget stopping to think much less finding time to have a lazy afternoon with my grandfather--- who I know would love my visit. (insert lump in my throat here.)

So, you thought this post was about autumn- did you?  :)  Well, we have time for that, friends.....if we make time. I want to smell autumn, feel it in the air, and most of all I want to share it with those I love. And for me that means slowing down a bit. For some of you it means reaching out to those you care about who might be moving too fast and reminding them that you want time with them....

I will not throw out wordy advice about your scheduling habits-- trust me, it's all I can do to work on my own. What I will say is that we can gain a lot by stepping back and making an assessment of what's working.....and what isn't.
For those of us who find life to feel somewhat like being swept up in rushing flood waters-- it may be time to remove some activities from our schedules.....
Maybe for others, it's more of an issue of not scheduling enough....time with friends, time to exercise, time to learn something new. It's just as frustrating to watch the flood waters rush past while you stand helplessly on the shore as it is to be caught up in them.....

It's a balance, and like most things in life, it's different for everyone-- but let's work on this one....
When you smell autumn creeping in....smell it. Think of your friends here-- and of this post, and make the changes you want for your best fall season.

(and gosh darn it- have a little hot cider!!)  (sniffle.)

-Jen Zeitler
Compeer Staff and Volunteer

To Hope or Not to Hope? A guest blog about hope and mental health...

You know those friends that you meet, and you instantly fall in line with--- the ones you can tell immediately are in it with you for the long haul?? Ashley is one of those for me.....

I told Ashley about the new Compeer blog, and she immediately offered, "I'd love to write something to share..." Which I was excited about, since really--- no one wants to hear just from me.....over....and over.  I also knew that Ashley would hand over something awesome, because this chick has serious substance.
  Ashley's amazing spirit never fails to shine through her struggles, and her dedication to wellness can inspire us all. 
So, WELCOME, guest blogger Ashley-- lay it on us!

  To Hope or not to Hope? That is the question. 

    Everyone knows that this is a question that crosses our minds from time to time- and for persons with mental illnesses, even more so.
    Some of us struggle day after day (myself included) with the idea that our illness is here to stay. We struggle with knowing that we have to fight for normalcy in our own minds. At these times hope may slip from our grasp....or seem pointless.
    Well, I'll give you a quick and dirty answer to this question:  HOPE!
    Regardless of what anyone thinks, things do get better. The rough times? Well, those are there to make us stronger. The harder it gets, the more we learn and the stronger we become.
The times we can't get out of bed in the morning.
The times we let our anxieties get the better of us.....
Let me tell you a little secret-- every single one of us, (even you reading this) are more than capable of overcoming our fears. Though we cannot control the chemicals in our brains, we can fight them.
You might ask, "How do I do that?" or think, "That's impossible."

With HOPE, nothing is impossible. You can conquer the greatest foes with the simplest of thoughts.

   So, buckle up people! This thing called life will be a tough ride. But with hope that one day you will see the bright side of things again, you can make it.
Maybe as you read this, you feel lost and without hope. Well then, this list is for you:

• Keep your head up. 
• Push yourself.
• Go out of your comfort zones.
• Fight for your personal freedom.
• Don't let anyone or anything take away your happiness.
• And, NEVER, EVER give up hope.

- Ashley Lang


      I am such a believer in hope as a healer.....thanks Ashley. I have a sneaking suspicion, I may be blogging further on this topic.....

Starting the day laughing....

"Laughter is the best medicine......." It's an old adage, and that's probably because there is great truth behind it.

I was tired today. I was tired, and before I ate too many chicken wings for lunch, I was hungry too. Tired and hungry don't work well for me. In the least...... (neither does eating too many chicken wings, by the way, but that's another blog.)

Besides being tired and hungry, I spent the better part of my drive to work this morning going through my mental "to do" list, (and yes, paying attention to the road should have been at the top!) which left me walking into my office this morning tired, hungry and overwhelmed. That was even before I realized that I forgot to take out the overflowing garbage can this morning. UGH!!!

So, like the grown-up that I am, I flopped down in my chair with a big old pout on my face and turned on my computer- grumbling out loud, just waiting to find an e-mail that could make my morning any more unpleasant.

Low and behold- I found the opposite.

A wonderful friend had sent me one of those mass forwarded e-mails full of funny pictures. If you've never recieved one, they are just a compilation of funny photos- usually having to do with a theme that someone, somewhere out in cyberspace, put together. People forward them and forward them, and that's where the term "going viral" comes from-- these things spread like smiles in a candy store! I would link you to the e-mail here, but I'm pretty sure Compeer doesn't want me involving them in a copyright nightmare....so to view some, try google-ing "funny photos" instead.

I scrolled down through the photos this morning, and my grumbling turned to laughter.
After viewing maybe ten of these hilarious scenarios, I felt my mood to be entirely lifted.
I thought to myself, "I should do this every morning!"

What a thought- start every day laughing.

And why stop there?
Laughter produces endorphins, one of the body’s natural painkillers. Laughter improves immune function, and decreases stress hormones. In fact, a good belly laugh is literally good for the heart, because when we laugh it causes our blood vessels to dilate!

For those of us struggling with mental health concerns, sometimes the pain can get overwhelming. It can get frustrating when we have too many obstacles to overcome. We know it's been long understood that laughter heals the mind and the body, so let's take advantage of all the ways we can build it into our lives!
The web is chock full of comedy sites and funny photos.
The library boasts an endless collection of joke books, comedy novels, and even funny movies and CDs.

Why not pick up a comedian on CD and listen to them in the car, or on your headset while taking the train or bus?
Catch a funny movie instead of flipping channels.
Laughing changes the chemicals in our brains to support positive emotions and healing. I say we can't get enough!!
(Chicken wings, I'm finding out, we can get enough of.....)

What other ways do you fit laughter into your life? Favorite funny movies? Good (and clean) jokes??
Post a comment to share.

Let's laugh together!


-Jennifer
Compeer of Greater Buffalo, Adult Coordinator

If you have topics, articles, recipes, photos or stories to share, please send them to jennifer@compeerbuffalo.org.